WTF!!! wish me luck guys.

[silversharkXD2]

Well, any of you that pay attention to my posts know that I have had a lot of problems with my lungs. I have had three collapsed lungs, the most recent of which was december 18th and I barely got home for christmas. they did a VATTS procedure(removed a part of my lung)scraped some bad crap out, did a pluradesis (fuzed the lining of my lung to the lung wall with a powder) and had TWO chest tubes in one lung. well, just barely a month and a half later(today), the same lung has collapsed again!!! This makes once in my left and 3 times in my right lung. It's small, but so were the others. I seem to have a track record of small ones, which usually heal themselves in other people, collapsing to 50%in the matter of a day. They are just in bad shape I guess. I don't know if it was from work(i was an industrial insulator) or if it's genetics, or the fact that I was premature. I smoked for 8 years, but even my surgeon, who is one of the top cardio thurasic surgeons in pittsburgh, said that smoking for that short of time(in comparison to other people) would not have caused emphysema and all of these problems. Some of the chemicals i have been exposed to would be the more likely reason. Or just bad lungs to start with.

I'm sorry to whine and I know a lot of people have it worse. But I'm starting to get a little scared. this is four times in 3 years. It hurts like hell and causes nerve damage that is taking a long time to heal, which causes more pain(it's been 11 months since the one on the left and that side still hurts). I'm scared I might not make it one of these times. every time it happens, the chance of it happening again increases. I go to see my surgeon tomorrow I think. It was just my doctor that saw me today.

I hate to start this thread just to look for sympathy and support, but I could use all I can get(emotionally, i'm not looking for hand outs) I know I'm not real close with any of you. I have only ever had the chance to meet yamaha :D . But it's odd how this particular forum has a way of making us all feel welcome and like we are all closer than we really are. I don't get here and worry about asking a dumb question or even about making a mistake on what I type or how I post. Generally, the mods are cool enough to say "hey, cool it" and then everything is cool.

You guys are my best friends in a way that's kinda different than out there in the real world.

I'm scared for my life, and to have to hurt all over again. But more than that, i'm scared that I won't get to see my son smile tomorrow. That I won't get to teach him to drive, or to take him to the vintage grand prix here in PGH. Or any car show for that matter. I am scared I won't get to hear about the first girl he kisses, or that I won't be here to teach him right from wrong. I'm scared I won't ever get to see my grandkids.

And my wife...man would I miss seeing her face in the morning. We have had such a hard marriage. We kill each other and hurt each other so bad. But the next day, she will hold my hand and look at me like i'm the whole world to her. If I don't make it one of these times, I won't get to yell at her about the clutch anymore :tongue: , or see that look of pure, untainted remorse and sadness when she wrecks the car again. She is so sorry everytime, but she looks to me knowing that I'm gonna tell her that it will be OK. She always says that when I hold her, and tell her it will all work out, that she feels like she is untouchable no matter what adversity she faces. Because we always face it together.

I would really miss all of you guys. I hope you would all miss me. I don't think cobase ;) or quicksilver would ;) (r u still trowing that f word around in your threads LOL) :D . But seriously, just in case i don't make it home this time...

I hope God doesn't have emmision standards so I can scrap the second cat...and I hope to meet all of you at that big car show in the sky...I just hope it's not this soon.

So wish me luck and keep me in your prays for a few days. If I get admitted tomorrow at allegheny general, the surgery will most likely be tuesday unless it is a dire emrgency. If something happens, i'll have my wife post. I'd love to have a convoy of XD's and Tib's at the... Sorry to be such a doom sayer, but probability will eventually work against me. So this is all just in case. If I'm cool, then I will still be glad I typed it. There is nothing wrong with telling you guys you mean a little something to me.

Your friend,

SilversharkXD2
Michael A. Griffeth
Beaver, PA

[Munky]

Damn man, that really sucks..I hope everything works out okay.

I understand what you mean about worrying the next time could be your last..I have to hand it to you..you're handling it a lot better than I would, that's for sure.

[silversharkXD2]

it sucks to say that I'm getting used to it... :confused:

[zx2uner]

it sucks to say that I'm getting used to it... :confused:

No it isn't. I had a brain tumor removed when I was 13 and another at 17....it seemed routine. You'll pull through....keep your head up!!

[silversharkXD2]

Thats what I mean. I know lots of people go through stuff, like you for instance. Thats why I tried to explain that I don't want pitty...you know what I mean? But at some point it starts to feel like enough is enough.

[joph09]

My prayers go out to you and your family man, I know how it feels my sister had emphysema that turned into lung cancer, and she jsut finished her kemo. I also went through the rollercoaster ride of thinking i'll never see her again but she's still fighting. So goodluck with everything man and don't give up!

[zx2uner]

Thats what I mean. I know lots of people go through stuff, like you for instance. Thats why I tried to explain that I don't want pitty...you know what I mean? But at some point it starts to feel like enough is enough.

You need to understand that pitty isn't nessarily bad. It's always nice to know people care...as long as it's sincere ;) I feel like "enough is enough" all the time, then you wake up the next day and be glad you are still breathing.

[RedScorp]

Well silvershark, I haven't camped the website as much as I used to or post as frequently either. Because of that I haven't really had the chance to meet you on the forum but your post brought water to my eyes. And yes, I'm not afraid of being a man and tearing up. And as zx2tuner said, pity or sympathy and empathy is not always a bad thing. While sometimes we may get tired of people being sympathetic towards a situation, in the end it's always nice to know someone does care.

I certainly hope everything goes well for you and I'll keep my eyes peeled to this thread over the next few days so I know how everything went.

I will most definitely keep you in my daily thoughts and hope for a safe and quick recovery for you.

[KeWLKaT]

Hey man

You'll get through it, keep your head up! I need you to insult me here ;(

[cobase]

Wow that sucks man. Despite what you say, I hope you stick around a while longer, in denial about global warming or not. :) We'll be waiting here to chat and argue some more once you get back home. Hope it doesn't take too long.

[Codenomics]

Sorry to hear man. I know the pain, me and the family have all been through some major ****! Drugs, alcohol, heart problems, and a good deal more medical problems. Keep fighting hope you pull through.

[ghrpdx]

I hope you are treated by a caring and wise doctor. Best wishes on a speedy recovery! You have a lot of people thinking good thoughts and that's some good mojo working for you. Looking forward to hearing everything was a success!

[silversharkXD2]

Thanks a lot guys. And I really apprediate you guys making me feel like it was OK to post this. I see your point that pity can be cool. I didn't want every one to think I was an attention whore. Thats all I meant.

It's been a long road. I almost died the second time(last february). All my dad could say was "i told you not to smoke". I had to ***** at him about it before he was kind enough to say "well, you screwed up, but I hope you feel better."

I work for my dad, you see. Which makes it really hard to go get a conultation with a lawyer as to whether or not it is work related. Been exposed to stuff like pthalic anhydried, maleic anhydried, Ipsothylic acid, Power house fly ash (which contains high quantities of inorganic arsenic. And it was more than just walking threw the power house. I worked for a week, 14 hours a day, stripping the old insulation, metal, and refractory. I was so black I had to shower three time in an hour to get it all off) and a host of other thing, the least of which was asbestos. And They never made it real clear how bad this stuff was, so I never had a respirator on. I figured, just like all the guys, that it was just dust. Plus it is really impractical to were one when the boiler has only been off a few hours and the room is about 115°. The last thing you want to do is were a rubber mask.

Thanks for the kind words. Thanks for making me feel like it was ok to cry about it for a little while. And with support from people like you guys, it's a lot easier to hold up my head.

Thanks.
___________________________________
oh! and kewl
I need you to insult me here ;(
you say lots of dumb stuff, I'm sure someone will pick up where I would leave off... ;)

___________________________________
Wow that sucks man. Despite what you say, I hope you stick around a while longer, in denial about global warming or not. :) We'll be waiting here to chat and argue some more once you get back home. Hope it doesn't take too long.
:abovelol:
___________________________________
I hope you are treated by a caring and wise doctor. Best wishes on a speedy recovery! You have a lot of people thinking good thoughts and that's some good mojo working for you. Looking forward to hearing everything was a success!

My surgeon is the smartes dude I have EVER met. I don't mean book smart alone. He is the kind of guy you would want leading you threw a mine field. He makes all the right calls

[yamaha]

Best of luck sir, get better.

[golfino]

Good luck,

[SuperGLS]

As a dead man once said, "Keep ya head up."

[BobMs_wht2k2]

Good luck and remember I got your back on the whole lefty warming theories! Just hurry up and get better. I'm not sure how long I can hold them off!

[silversharkXD2]

I'll know by lunch if I need surgery. Thanks again guys.

hey bob, we need to come up with a gang sign...ya know! we could be like "West SIIIDE" and hold up three fingers yo!

I think we're the only hard core gang bangin conservatives here.

Instead of "thug life!" we could be like "Rush Life!"

I gotch yo back too home slice. Peace out!

[TEK30001]

Good luck man. I hope it all goes good for you.

[jayupark]

I hope everything will be alright. Take care of yourself :)

[silversharkXD2]

Well, someone up there is listening, because the surgeon says so far that he wants to wait till monday to do an xray. Basically to see if it gets worse. he said if I thinks it's worse before then, by all means go to the hospital. But he said take it easy, no lifting and stuff like that. I asked him how I'm supposed to take a leak. It ways 8 lbs or so...I'm on a 5 lb lifting limit. I asked him for a home care nurse to help with that, but he said he was out of red heads.

[Estopatitiana]

Good luck and remember I got your back on the whole lefty warming theories! Just hurry up and get better. I'm not sure how long I can hold them off!


yeah one against many might not work, especially me!!

one thing i have to say is forgive everyone/ask for forgivness of any wrongdoing in your life, and old grudges fix em, if u think your ready to sign out you better do these things so they dont linger on with the people you know, it may be hard, but it will be worth it

[silversharkXD2]

yeah one against many might not work, especially me!!

one thing i have to say is forgive everyone/ask for forgivness of any wrongdoing in your life, and old grudges fix em, if u think your ready to sign out you better do these things so they dont linger on with the people you know, it may be hard, but it will be worth it
:D .....I'm sorry for calling you a liberal...whatdaya say, no hard feelings?

but I get your point

[RedScorp]

How are things going silver? I know you said you aren't due to get xrays taken until monday but is everything holding up alright?

[silversharkXD2]

How are things going silver? I know you said you aren't due to get xrays taken until monday but is everything holding up alright?

I'm doing OK...thank you. I may as well say thanks for the support from all of you, since my thank you post has vanished. I had such a nice rant about my wife and her pedo-tard boyfriend to. dammit!

now i gotta deal with my wife and her indecisiveness. she loves me, she loves me not?
and last night she decided it would be a good idea to let my 3 year old son play under the recliner (mind you, i just suggested nicely that she shouldn't do that about a week ago) He damn near chopped the top of his thumb off!!!
I spent all of yesterday night at childrens hospital. He is doing OK. But once again, Mike is dumb and couldn't possibly know what he is talking about, right? NO! I must have been stupid to try and teach her that 3 year olds and moving metal pieces with pinch points don't mix. Cause i'm just a stupid man, right?

Now I'm not buying that mazda, either, I had been eyeing because she can't decide if she loves me or him. Thank god she told me an hour before I bought it, or I would have been screwed if she leaves(or if I get fed up and leave, whichever the case)

But other than that, my soap opera life is pretty good! If i would have not been blessed enough not to get as sick as usual, i might not have been able to be there for my son. So, honestly, I count it as a huge positive right now, regaurdless of the other drama.