Don't you hate it when you sneeze in the middle of taking a piss?

[DJ Hellfire]

It's very annoying and hard to keep it from skeeting all over the toilet.

[my01elantra]

HAHAHA nice

[SuperGLS]

I tried to explain this problem to my wife once but she didn't want to listen.

[just2surrender1]

yea that does pose a problem and no one seems to understand it...


nice post lol

[CRAZIECRACKER]

yea man i hate. but why is pissing and farting at the same time standable?

[SilverElantra]

cause, hopefully, there is no body shake with farting. with sneezing there is. i dont even try to explain this one anymore i just do it and clean up afterwards.

[CornbreadXD]

yeah its kinda painful actually, farting at the same time is nothing. It hurts worse when you try to hold the sneeze instead of letting it go freely because your body will tense up while your trying to ease your stream and it forces it out harder.

Act like you don't know what I'm talking about! :nono:

[bdiggy]

:abovelol::abovelol: This right here is messed up. I love it!! It's about as hard as pissing with morning wood and trying not to dribble.

[CornbreadXD]

Oh man! Don't even try to take one in the morning, I have to be a contortionist in the morning. You have to stand like 2 feet away push it down and anchor yourself so you don't fall over. And if you sneeze on one of those its Jackson Pollock all over the seat,floor,wall etc.

[Cypher]

Theres something wrong with some of you guys...

[krodammi]

Theres something wrong with some of you guys...

i'll agree but its so damn funny ^_^

[bdiggy]

Wrong or earily on point. Now that I think about it, if I don't fart for my first piss of the day, I always end up having a bad day. Go figure.

[rusto85]

lmao...that made me laugh so hard....but it's true I guess...look at the movie 40 year old virgin. :abovelol:

[Cypher]

Oddly enough, my best days start out with my spilling coffee. Its strange to say the least but everytime I end up spilling some coffee in the morning before work, the day ends up being alot of fun.

[bdiggy]

Suppose that could work too, but it wouldn't make me smile as much.

[DJ Hellfire]

Morning wood is the worst! It never wants to go down and sometimes it's so hard it hurts!

[bdiggy]

Especially if you wake up off balance and "miss" the doorway a little. I hate hitting my head on the wall:D:eek:

[05xd]

lol,wood is good

[CornbreadXD]

women don't understand the complexities of man parts

[xdforme22]

oohh, that's a good quote. I am laughing so much at this thread I'm having a hard time typing:D

[soullesselantra]

LOL this is a good candidate for best thread of 08! not cause its funny, but because its TRUE!!! but the worst is on those drunken nights, standin there drainin the main, when you go to fart and all the sudden...uh oh...time for the emergency pinch, rotate, an poo

[CRAZIECRACKER]

morning wood? rubbing one off before you even attemp to get outta bed will prevent any kind of unwanted erection! then youll have a beautiful flowing, 5 minute piss.

[soullesselantra]

i dont think i have ever had an erection i would call unwanted...

[CRAZIECRACKER]

any erection in the morning "morning wood" when you dont have a girl laying next to you, and interfers with pissing...is unwanted

[soullesselantra]

oh, well i guess thats where my definition changes, 99% of the time i have my girl laying with me...shes a heavy sleeper..LOL

[DJ Hellfire]

morning wood? rubbing one off before you even attemp to get outta bed will prevent any kind of unwanted erection! then youll have a beautiful flowing, 5 minute piss.

I don't think it's a good idea to ease your wood when you have to pee. I don't know what would come out, jiz or piss! I just lay there until the wood disperses, then I get up to go and let her rip!

[CRAZIECRACKER]

it actually flows nice, try it tomorrow morning. it would be urine and the fluid that mixes with ur sperm. sometimes it stings a little.

[soullesselantra]

sometimes it stings a little.


i think thats the herp sayin hi

[CRAZIECRACKER]

i think thats the herp sayin hi

:abovelol: nooooo way buddy. :ssst: lol

[extremeaudiowa]

I just read this thread and laughed so hard i almost pissed myself LOL

Now thats funny

I hate it when you wake up first thing in the morning dying for a piss you think your bladder is going to explode, you have morning wood so cant pee and the mrs leans on your bladder....

Need to slap that mother f**cker upside the head then

[Pete03GLS]

i just lean forward, and problem solved. or wash my hands, for some reason when i wash my hands... wood goes away. lol

[DJ Hellfire]

This may sound :gay:, but do you guys think that sitting down to piss will make it easier to piss with morning wood? Almost like taking a crap, but without all the crap?:D

[bdiggy]

^^It helps but you have to put your meat in the hole before you sit all the way down or it ends up resting on the rim of the bowl. That would make a huge mess!!

[Munky]

^^It helps but you have to put your meat in the hole before you sit all the way down or it ends up resting on the rim of the bowl. That would make a huge mess!!

Please..you're giving him too much credit. :abovelol:

[DJ Hellfire]

^^It helps but you have to put your meat in the hole before you sit all the way down or it ends up resting on the rim of the bowl. That would make a huge mess!!

Yeah, plus now that I think about it, your meat wouldn't be hanging; so it would most likely be touching the nasty innards of the bowl!

[Pete03GLS]

yea, id rather piss every where than get my meat on the nasty bowl. no thanx.

[kennef]

Maybe AC Slater could help....just a thought.

[Tx_boy]

Have you ever had to throwup when you are on the toilet taking a ****? Now that sucks. If you dont have a trash can you have to stand up and turn around and hope the other end is done coming out!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pete03GLS]

lol i ALWAYS keep a can handy next to the crapper, just in case that ever happens.

[Ugzz]

dood...
wow
just.. rediculous.. Lmfao!! hahahaha
anyway, im with pete i just pull a bit of a lean or hunch over with the morning wood, then all is well. or just go in the shower..

[Pete03GLS]

lmfao yeah, this method works best... the more u lean the easier it gets, so next time, try taking a step or 2 back from ur bowl, lean over, hold ur self up against the wall n let it flow.

rofl

[bdiggy]

LMAO!! This thread gets better by the day. Yeah, rubbing the inside of the bowl would suck. I just let my dribble land where it will and take the wife's grief about it. She's accepted the fact that my aim is crappy.

I kept using the excuse of having 2 streams come out at once or the morning piss shiver I get once in a while. You know, when it feels so good a chill shoot's down your spine.

[DJ Hellfire]

I kept using the excuse of having 2 streams come out at once...


Well, this actually does happen when you take a piss shortly after nutting! It goes everywhere. You kinda gotta give your junk a little squeeze to try to slow down the stream and adjust your aim.

[Pete03GLS]

or pull the skin back to separate it.

[SuperGLS]

True.

But, I think this thread has gone well too far away from sneezing.

[KeWLKaT]

or pull the skin back to separate it.

seperate it? lol? you mean open up the hole more?

[Munky]

This has gotten a little...wrong.

[DJ Hellfire]

seperate it? lol? you mean open up the hole more?

Yeah!

[KeWLKaT]

What I hate the most is taking a piss right after coming out from the pool if you've been in it for a long time... You know when your junk is all wrinkly and shorter than ever? That first stream that comes out of it is always at a random angle until the flow is strong enough to ''open'' the hole fully. If you're unlucky enough you can even get some on your top leg part.

[Ugzz]

i think we have breached NSFW by a long shot..
lol