Evils Pee Pond (Links to all Sorts of Funny Crap)

[OdessitPashka]

Evil I see you already started to trash new forum!!! HERE IT'S ALL YOURS!!!!

[evil247]

Linkey. (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-430deashooting,0,4315468.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines)

[OdessitPashka]

dumbass!

[tharptroy]

he may be a dumbass, but thats probably the best way to scare the **** out of those kids...good job officer :P seems like he should have known that there'd be one in the chamber after taking the clip out though

[O_GT]

Dam that was in Orlando why didn't I hear anything about that

[Black04XD2]

Linkey. (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-430deashooting,0,4315468.story?coll=sfla-home-headlines)

Haha.....that's great :abovelol:

[vabeach_03]

that is why i never point a gun at anyone or anypart of myself.

[evil247]

Want to buy a baseball?

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that there little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball."

Man - "That's nice."

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

Man - "No, thanks."

Boy - "My dad's outside."

Man - "OK, how much?"

Boy - "$250"

A few weeks later, it happens again. The boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."

Man - "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball glove."

The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy - "$750"

Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The father asks, "For how much did you sell them?"

Boy - "$1,000"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that **** again"

That's some good ish right there

[Black04XD2]

:abovelol:
If that was true though, the preist would be bending the boy over and having his way with him :eek:

[SGTFelix]

That was hilarious.... :abovelol:

[evil247]

:bowdown: http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/rflier.jpg

[Black04XD2]

I'd actually rock one of those :cool:

[evil247]

:abovelol: The one with the big wing huh

I would rock this

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/13641golfcart-med.jpg

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/13641golfcart_2-med.jpg

[ilanpro04]

awesome :bowdown:

[obsidiangls]

Very Sweet

[OdessitPashka]

those cars are pimp! and the story is awesome!!!

[BlueGT]

Blang Blang!!! Rolling on dubs! Pimp interior too! :thumbsup:

[evil247]

Puke Warning on link

Linkey (http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=2476653403&category=6161)

[JacksonJ]

By the way, the bridge is out!

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/bridge out sign.jpg


I sure hope you don't live in this town!

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/neuter sign.jpg

But it looks so fun!

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/packing tape tip.jpg

[RabidDogBoy]

How about these lovely signs...
http://www.rabiddogboy.com/pics/2no.jpg
http://www.rabiddogboy.com/pics/trespass.jpg
http://www.rabiddogboy.com/pics/escaping.jpg

[evil247]

Nice red X's there

http://www.foxnews.com/images/124628/1_22_050504_nail_gun3.jpg

http://www.foxnews.com/images/124628/1_21_050504_nail_gun.jpg

Link (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,119142,00.html)

LOS ANGELES — A construction worker had six nails driven into his head in an accident with a high-powered nail gun (search), but doctors said Wednesday they expect him to make a full recovery.

[RabidDogBoy]

Fixed it... don't know how to use the attachment feature yet... :confused:

[evil247]

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/sshoe.jpg


Adidas says it has created the world's first "smart shoe" by mating it with a computer chip that adapts its cushioning level to a runner's size and stride.

The Adidas 1 is the product of a three-year secret project the German company developed at its U.S. headquarters in Portland, Ore.

On Thursday, Adidas opened its research lab to reporters from around the world for a first peek at a shoe the company claims will revolutionize distance running and training.

"This is the first intelligent shoe ever," said Erich Stamminger, global marketing director for Adidas. "It senses, understands and adapts."

After thousands of hours of testing, Adidas is confident the computerized shoe will endure the wear-and-tear of running in almost any condition — from hard pavement to dirt trails, and dry streets to wet beaches.

The microprocessor is located in the arch of the shoe, and drives a tiny screw and cable system that adjusts the heel cushion depending on the signals sent back by an electric sensor coupled to a magnet.

It is powered by a battery that conserves power by adjusting the shoe while it is in the air during a runner's stride, avoiding resistance from the ground.

The entire assembly weighs no more than 40 grams — just 10 percent of the 400-gram total weight of the shoe, to keep it light enough for distance runners.

But the $250 price tag is likely to make it a luxury item when it first goes on sale in December, said Paul Swangard, managing director of the Warsaw Sports Marketing Center at the University of Oregon.

"It's something that doesn't necessarily seem to have massive market appeal, but from the company standpoint speaks volumes about its technology capabilities," Swangard said.

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/shoe1.jpg

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/sshoe2.jpg

Been wondering when they would come up with something like this. Next there will be shoes that can even make white men jump.

[OdessitPashka]

hehehe!

[evil247]

HAHA funny stuff

Link (http://www.ircuser.org/files/gta_lego_city.avi)

[labmixz]

HAHA funny stuff

Link (http://www.ircuser.org/files/gta_lego_city.avi)

lol, good shiz...

[Elkane7533]

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/sshoe.jpg


Adidas says it has created the world's first "smart shoe" by mating it with a computer chip that adapts its cushioning level to a runner's size and stride.

The Adidas 1 is the product of a three-year secret project the German company developed at its U.S. headquarters in Portland, Ore.

On Thursday, Adidas opened its research lab to reporters from around the world for a first peek at a shoe the company claims will revolutionize distance running and training.

"This is the first intelligent shoe ever," said Erich Stamminger, global marketing director for Adidas. "It senses, understands and adapts."

After thousands of hours of testing, Adidas is confident the computerized shoe will endure the wear-and-tear of running in almost any condition — from hard pavement to dirt trails, and dry streets to wet beaches.

The microprocessor is located in the arch of the shoe, and drives a tiny screw and cable system that adjusts the heel cushion depending on the signals sent back by an electric sensor coupled to a magnet.

It is powered by a battery that conserves power by adjusting the shoe while it is in the air during a runner's stride, avoiding resistance from the ground.

The entire assembly weighs no more than 40 grams — just 10 percent of the 400-gram total weight of the shoe, to keep it light enough for distance runners.

But the $250 price tag is likely to make it a luxury item when it first goes on sale in December, said Paul Swangard, managing director of the Warsaw Sports Marketing Center at the University of Oregon.

"It's something that doesn't necessarily seem to have massive market appeal, but from the company standpoint speaks volumes about its technology capabilities," Swangard said.

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/shoe1.jpg

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/sshoe2.jpg

Been wondering when they would come up with something like this. Next there will be shoes that can even make white men jump.


Well, I bought a pair of $150 adidas soccer cleats and am getting a new $200 pair from adidas that just came out, with my name and number embroidered on, straight from this customizing company in England.
I would definitely buy those shoes if i ever needed good running shoes...

[OdessitPashka]

HAHA funny stuff

Link (http://www.ircuser.org/files/gta_lego_city.avi)
WTF? i heard noises and i saw a picture... that was it....

[evil247]

Well, I bought a pair of $150 adidas soccer cleats and am getting a new $200 pair from adidas that just came out, with my name and number embroidered on, straight from this customizing company in England.
I would definitely buy those shoes if i ever needed good running shoes...

Predators? Those were the ish when I was playing soccer. I really should get back into and get in one of the adult leagues they have around FL

[O_GT]

HAHA funny stuff

Link (http://www.ircuser.org/files/gta_lego_city.avi)
good stuff

[BlueGT]

HAHA funny stuff

Link (http://www.ircuser.org/files/gta_lego_city.avi)

Wow! Cool stuff! I liked that.
Pashka, you need divx codec. Get it at divx.com

[OdessitPashka]

i thought that i had it....

[2BIT]

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/Pr041404shirt.jpg

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/fedex.jpg

[evil247]

Wow this is crazy

Link (http://www.olympus.co.jp/en/magazine/pursuit/200301/movie/m01_hi.asx)

[OdessitPashka]

Wow this is crazy

Link (http://www.olympus.co.jp/en/magazine/pursuit/200301/movie/m01_hi.asx)
wow! how did they record it? thats some amazing stuff!

[tharptroy]

those bees got owned... makes me want to go plunder a midget village

[evil247]

Chevy Silverado 10.91 1/4 mile pass

Link (http://www.neufamily.org/fastesttruck.wmv)

[OdessitPashka]

Chevy Silverado 10.91 1/4 mile pass

Link (http://www.neufamily.org/fastesttruck.wmv)
OMG! WHOAHAHAHAA! thats F*CKIN CRAZY!!!!!

[BlueGT]

That Silverado is amazing!
Here is some drifting action. haha
Linky (http://www.crownvic.us/movies/camioning.wmv)

[OdessitPashka]

I cant believe that truck didnt flip over!!!!

[evil247]

This made me laugh the first time I saw it.

Linkey (http://www.3capparel.com/rsx/dc_raceheader.wmv)

[OdessitPashka]

This made me laugh the first time I saw it.

Linkey (http://www.3capparel.com/rsx/dc_raceheader.wmv)
haha! i believed it was real the 1st time!

[mcmmotorsports]

I bet with enough money an RSX can sound and run like that. :smiley_ac

[tharptroy]

lol, when I saw that part with the RSX taking off like that, I nearly pissed myself. OH no, someone painted their hayabusa to look like an RSX....what a sleeper

[OdessitPashka]

lol, when I saw that part with the RSX taking off like that, I nearly pissed myself. OH no, someone painted their hayabusa to look like an RSX....what a sleeper
it does sound like a bike!

[evil247]

More like a f1 indy car.

lol, when I saw that part with the RSX taking off like that, I nearly pissed myself
Yeah I figured it would get a lot of people I almost spit soda all over my keyboard when I saw it the first time

[peters73]

dumb one liners

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.' " "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field; Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly." It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.

11. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

12. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

13. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before.

14. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed; is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "Let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checkshis teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy."

15. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

16. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'

17. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.

18. I went to a seafood disco rave last week ... and pulled a mussel.

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

20. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

21. A guy walked into a bar the another day, and said ouch!

22. A friend of mine broke his hand in a couple of places, I told him to stay out of those places.

23. A preacher ask this one legged woman were she works at, she said IHOP and her name was Ilene.

[2BIT]

Funnies


http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/sprint.jpg

http://www.nitrousworld.com/pictures/voter.jpg

[evil247]

Linkey (http://www.illwillpress.com/fatkins.html)

Funny ish WW for language

[Nyck]

had some humor to it and it sounds true...exercise like a squirrel is the key

[vabeach_03]

a few links

think you can park? (http://funny.ansme.com/videos/park.html)

STFU (http://funny.ansme.com/videos/stfu.html)

[Black04XD2]

Chevy Silverado 10.91 1/4 mile pass

Link (http://www.neufamily.org/fastesttruck.wmv)
:bowdown: :eek:
WOW...Never thought I'd see that

a few links

think you can park? (http://funny.ansme.com/videos/park.html)

STFU (http://funny.ansme.com/videos/stfu.html)

Cool parking vid.... :cool:
The girl singing is a repost from the old site, but still funny as hell. Stupid American Idol wannabe :abovelol:

[evil247]

link (http://www.banthis.com/videos/glassdoor.mpg)

......... :tongue:

[OdessitPashka]

saw it before but still funny!

[BlueGT]

Somone is already addicted to forums. hehe :)

http://members.iinet.net.au/~mjeffery/n00b.jpg

[evil247]

Funny car commercial.

Link (http://www.leksus.com/Videos/werbung.mpg)

[OdessitPashka]

that commercial is pretty good, but the word check is the best!!!

[vabeach_03]

got a few hours to kill.... try this game.
http://ebaumsworld.com/simgame.shtml

[only1db]

wow thats some good stuff....pretty cool thing to due when your trying to kill time! :abovelol:

[OdessitPashka]

got a few hours to kill.... try this game.
http://ebaumsworld.com/simgame.shtml
final scene was worth those 2 hours! lol

[tharptroy]

http://www.smlinks.com/sotw/why/

[OdessitPashka]

awww, poor guy...

[evil247]

Linkey (http://www.consumptionjunction.com/content/downloader.asp?file=/downloads/cj_35005.wmv) Dayum :eek:

[OdessitPashka]

WTF! 12 second school bus!!!!!!!

[hyunelan2]

Wow. That bus is... wow.

[O_GT]

link (http://gallery.thevboard.com/showpic.php?dispsize=Original&album=e1eveN&pic=lil_john.swf) funny as hell

[OdessitPashka]

my friend sent this to me, but i dont find it to be funny for some reason...

[hyunelan2]

Found on Sonataspeed, I got a chuckle out of it:

Back to the lawyer bashing ...

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

[OdessitPashka]

haha! thats funny :)

[yevRPS]

^^^^^^^^ was posted before on the old forum i think but still funny

[O_GT]

some more vids
Secret Service 240SX, Hella Fast (http://www.inductionperformance.com/videos/Enthalpy-testride.wmv)
Ever seen an F450 Dually Drift?? (http://www.planb-attack.com/jay/DuallyDrifting.wmv)
Semi Truck Drift (http://www.framipell.com/camioning.wmv)

[OdessitPashka]

240sx is freaking amazing!
OGT nice signature!!!

[ButterBean]

Robot Protest (http://www.noonelikesyou.net/TFT-robots/)

[Steve]

:abovelol: That is too funny! I'm trying to be quiet here at work and that is not helping.

[vabeach_03]

This is so funny that its sick

flying cat (http://sung.producto-valvo.com/funny/cat.wmv)

how not to race down the track

drag race (http://www.derty.org/images/ls1tech/funnycarsinthundervalley.wmv)

[hyunelan2]

Can't get the second link to work. The first has me ROTFLMAO!!! Gonna get in trouble at work now for laughing uncontrollably.

[vabeach_03]

turn your sound up for this one
sound up a lot (http://users.pandora.be/SVTrunks/BLP12244.mpg)

and the 2nd one works now

[2GTS]

Dont get pinched by the saftey belt (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20040521/od_nm/life_rollercoaster_dc)

[vabeach_03]

THis kid gets what he has comming to him

owned (http://ashotfired.com/fits.wmv)

Ok i'm not realy religous but this is just kinda wrong

Jesus action figure (http://www.jesus-action-figure.com/)

And try not to laugh.... if you do your going to hell!

[yevRPS]

turn your sound up for this one
sound up a lot (http://users.pandora.be/SVTrunks/BLP12244.mpg)


:repost:

[OdessitPashka]

retard with Nitrous!

http://acura-integra.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php?t=370&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[vabeach_03]

Jesse James has something against rx7's

Linky link (http://media.skoopy.com/vids/vid_00115.wmv)

Keep in mind that every 5th shot is a tracer.


------------------

I just wanna know how they did this.

link (http://www.wcpo.com/news/2004/local/05/20/wreck.html)

[OdessitPashka]

poor car!!!!!

[yevRPS]

tracers are fun...and damn that gun is fast

[evil247]

Dragin frame biatch.

Link (http://www.lowlifevideo.com/Video/Issue1Draghigh.WMV)

[OdessitPashka]

thank god i have comcast! its a freakin 34mb file! but it was well worth the wait! those guys are damn crazy!!!!!!!

[SPARTANELANTRA]

i hate to tell u but belt ammo is 2 round then a tracer then 2 more round so u can see where three round bursts are landing

[2GTS]

Good luck trying to only shoot a 3 round burst with that, by the time your brain tells your finger to release the trigger 20 rounds were fired

Photoshop Phun (http://www.somethingawful.com/photoshop/)





Cars by Microsoft



At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[SPARTANELANTRA]

well im just sayuing that most weapons of the same caliber use ammo that is set up the same way

[O_GT]

http://www.planb-attack.com/jay/GeneralLee/generallee.jpg
:abovelol:

[evil247]

Click the horses (http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf)

[JacksonJ]

http://images.cardomain.com/member_images/3/web/195000-195999/195480_230_full.jpg

:abovelol:

[OdessitPashka]

it cant be real....

[evil247]

It's not its a photochop you can tell by looking closley through the wheels to the other side and shadows are off. I am sure it won't be long before it becomes a reality if it hasn't already

[OdessitPashka]

photochop does amazing things with opposite sides and shadows, but this might be real...

[evil247]

Like I said look through the back wheel. the wheel on the other side just stops it does not come back up as it should. unless there is only half a wheel on the other side then it's a chop

[OdessitPashka]

lol. i misread your post, i thought you said it's photochop :)

[tharptroy]

a song to our dear friends at the FCC. *WW*
http://www.pythonline.com/plugs/idle/FCCSong.mp3

[evil247]

These are all real news stories. I wanna see the video of the liquor store

Idiot #1

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.



Idiot #2

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.



Idiot #3

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag" While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.




Idiot #4


A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.



Idiot #5

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.



Idiot #6

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.



Idiot #7

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.



Idiot #8

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

[OdessitPashka]

so many dumb people around us!!!