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KDM to JDM.
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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Set the scene and mood: 10pm on a dark ghetto road in Newton, NJ. I have been pissed off all day and to release my anger I am driving someone home (driving helps me calm down). My girlfriend is in the passenger seat of her '95 Jeep Cherokee, and her sister and her sister's friend who lives in Newton is in the back. I am driving the friend home. I am asked by the friend to stop at an Exxon Mart so she can run in and grab something. I say sure and pull up to the store. This is where the first of my blood starts to boil. I am told by my girlfriend that they are here to egg houses, not bring the friend home. I reply to my girlfriend "I guess I'll just have to drive myself home then" She eyes me and I stare back for a second. The friend hops in the car and i see her holding a carton of eggs. Great, just great.
I drive around Newton heading towards my house when suddenly I'm told to turn down this road. I think to myself "if they throw one egg..." I turn down the road and the windows go down. crap.
Eggs start to fly and I go nuts. After 3 eggs came out of the Jeep I slam on my brakes as hard as I could (i was the only one wearing a seat belt) and I do a U-Turn on the empty street. "I'm fed up with this SHIT!" I screamed, and floored it back down the road. "I'm not letting you people throw EGGS!"
Silence overcomes the car and about 30 seconds later my girlfriend says "Well I never got to throw MY egg..."
I flipped. I tried to grab the egg out of her hand and she held on to it tight. "let me have an egg" I asked her sister as I reached into the back. I was handed one. "Perfect. Just in time before she does something stupid" I thought to myself. And just so you all know, when it comes to my girlfriend, I always have to do something a little extreme to get her attention. Begging and "please" don't usually work. I pull my hand from the back seat, egg and all, and I hold it over my girlfriend's chest. I squeeze. The egg EXPLODED all over her. all over her hair, her necklace, her cleavage (low cut shirt), and her car. The rug, the glove compartment, her shifter, her A/C controls and her new Sony CD player. She screams in such bloody-like horror and does the worst thing. Takes the egg in her hands and smashes it on my chest. Now you all may not think this to be such a bad thing except I was wearing all black. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes. A waterfall of white down my shirt and pants. it looks SO bad if you know what I mean. I promptly slam on the breaks, put the car in park and get out, walking fast down the sidewalk. My girlfriend hops in the driver seat and speeds off. Now you might think this is the end of the story... but it's not. She goes about 1/4 of a mile down the street, and turns around. Coming back towards me. I am a man of standing my ground, but I'm also a man of 235 pounds. I don't want to spend 2 hours in the dark at midnight walking home. She stops, and I stubbornly talk her into letting me drive. Ok.
I drive back to her house (where we originally set off from) with her complaining the entire time of the egg dripping down her shirt (well, it was...) her sister and friend run inside when I stopped the car in the driveway. Me and my girlfriend then had a "discussion" over why I did it and how she wanted to break up with me, etc etc...(she says that one of my quality traits is when she tries to break up with me I just say "no" and it slowly convinces her otherwise...whatever) She kept telling me to walk home in the dark, I shouldn't help clean her car, and she hated me. I just kept saying to her "It's my mess, I'm cleaning it" After about 5 minutes of scrubbing, she looks at me and says, "I'm going inside and taking a shower to get this egg off. GO HOME" What do I do? Go inside and sit down...wait for her to get out of the shower.
When she finally did come out, she sat down next to me in a silk robe, looked me straight in the eyes and said "I'm sorry. You know I never want you to break up with me, I've just been stressed all day." I replied "it's ok, you should be mad. I ruined your Jeep....can we clean it tomorrow?" She hugged me. The next day we got to work on her car. Got everything we saw cleaned out, and everything is back to normal between me and her, except when you turn on the A/C it smells like egg.
The End.

True story. Happened 2 nights ago. I've been dating her for ~7 months now, and I love her with all my heart. She was the one who got me into cars.
Questions/Comments? :D
Any reply is appreciated.
 

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*BARK*
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Really interesting story... enjoyed reading it :) The whole time I was reading it I was saying to myself "Wow, what a happy couple." and not sarcasticly either. I would do the same thing to my girl except we never fight so it would just be for fun even though it'd probably still make her mad. Toward the end I started asking myself why you would post a story like this... even in the off topic forum... then I realized it was a good read and now I see why... Good luck with you and your girl and your adventures together. :D
 

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Ummmm, o..k..... to avoid the whole thing, you shouldn't have went to the store for them to buy eggs. Or drive down that street. That's pretty childish if you ask me. Everyone on this site respects cars, and I don't think that many will appreciate the egg throwing. Maybe when your car gets pelted with eggs you would understand.
 

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scared like cheese
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I did something kind of similar a couple years back. My buddy Tom had gotten grounded just before Valentines day and couldn't leave the house or have guests, I was the exception because I was practically family. Well Valentines day comes around and Tom wants to take some flowers and balloons over to the girlfriends house and the only way mom will let us go is if we go to the store and pick something up and we have to take his younger sister and her freind along to make sure we don't take any detours. I'm driving my parents '94 4 door Blazer and we go to the store. The two girls are 3-4 years younger than us and are acting like any early teen girl(annoying as all hell) the whole time. Then as we are driving from the store to the girlfriends house they start jumping around in the car and throwing stuff. I'm getting pissed but am trying real hard to stay cool. After the flowers and balloons are dropped off and kisses exchaged we head home. The girls are still messing around and laughing and haveing a really good time making me mad. This is when I decide to have a little fun. After yelling at them to shut up and calm down I say f*&% it and tell them " I'll give you something to laugh about" I'm going down a 4 lane rd speed limit is 40mph, I'm going about 50 and barely tap the breaks and bust a hard left on to a side street that we pretty much already passed. This is when all hell breaks loose. The Blazer went up on 2 wheels and I here one of the girls who was in the way back (behind the seats) roll from one side of the car to the other and thump her head on the side. Everyone is screaming and I'm trying to decied if I should have a heart attack or shit on myself and then the Blazer thankfully comes back down on all 4 wheels. I pulled the car over and had to stop for a min to make sure we were still alive, the rest of the ride home was great though, not a single word was spoken.
 

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KDM to JDM.
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
One of the reasons I did what I did was because the two in the back who threw eggs hit cars.
Thanks for the comments, and all I'm trying to say is that sometimes the ends DO justify the means. All of you who are dating/married have done stupid things to keep the girl. Well, this was my little thing. Extreme yes, immature maybe, but that's the last time I'm gonna be doing something like that :p
 

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19 second madman
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hrmm...and I thought the point of this post was to determine whether or not you could break an egg in one hand. the answer is yes and no. you cant break an egg in one hand while squeezing on the small sides of the egg without pressing inwards with your fingertips. thats a really weird story.... i want these few minutes of my life back

EDIT: I went to test it, and sure enough, i squeezed the egg and nothing happened, then I pressed inwards with my fingertips at the top, and it exploded like....*avoids making palestinean joke*
 

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*BARK*
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tharptroy said:
hrmm...and I thought the point of this post was to determine whether or not you could break an egg in one hand. the answer is yes and no. you cant break an egg in one hand while squeezing on the small sides of the egg without pressing inwards with your fingertips. thats a really weird story.... i want these few minutes of my life back

EDIT: I went to test it, and sure enough, i squeezed the egg and nothing happened, then I pressed inwards with my fingertips at the top, and it exploded like....*avoids making palestinean joke*
:abovelol: LoL!!!! I must say that that's the funniest thing I've read/heard all night. Thank you for making me thankful I bought all these chocolate covered expresso beans... :halm: :werd: :bondage:
 

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I had a similar experience last summer. Me and a bunch of friends were heading to our buddy's house for a drunken barbecue. My wife's little annoying-ass sister was visiting. She and my friend Leo were in the back seat of the Elantra. In another car were my friends Jarrod, Chris, and some slut they brought with them. My wife's spoiled sister was whining and bitching the whole day about not wanting to go to the barbecue, "it's going to be boring", "I don't like anybody", "your friends are dumb", etc, etc. We were cruising on the autobahn when I egged Jarrod into a race in order to get the exhaust cranking loud enough to drown out little sister's voice. I beat his punk-ass 98 Civic to the exit, but couldn't slow down fast enough in the short German deceleration lane (thanks shitty Hyundai brakes) and ended up fishtailing so hardcore on the offramp. We came to a complete stop and everyone shutted the fuck up yo. Luckily, I have the Tib sway bar and had been playing Need For Speed so I was good at compensating for the swinging rear end. Ever since then, little sister won't drive with me any more. VICTORY!!!!!
 
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