Joined
·
6,437 Posts
Set the scene and mood: 10pm on a dark ghetto road in Newton, NJ. I have been pissed off all day and to release my anger I am driving someone home (driving helps me calm down). My girlfriend is in the passenger seat of her '95 Jeep Cherokee, and her sister and her sister's friend who lives in Newton is in the back. I am driving the friend home. I am asked by the friend to stop at an Exxon Mart so she can run in and grab something. I say sure and pull up to the store. This is where the first of my blood starts to boil. I am told by my girlfriend that they are here to egg houses, not bring the friend home. I reply to my girlfriend "I guess I'll just have to drive myself home then" She eyes me and I stare back for a second. The friend hops in the car and i see her holding a carton of eggs. Great, just great.
I drive around Newton heading towards my house when suddenly I'm told to turn down this road. I think to myself "if they throw one egg..." I turn down the road and the windows go down. crap.
Eggs start to fly and I go nuts. After 3 eggs came out of the Jeep I slam on my brakes as hard as I could (i was the only one wearing a seat belt) and I do a U-Turn on the empty street. "I'm fed up with this SHIT!" I screamed, and floored it back down the road. "I'm not letting you people throw EGGS!"
Silence overcomes the car and about 30 seconds later my girlfriend says "Well I never got to throw MY egg..."
I flipped. I tried to grab the egg out of her hand and she held on to it tight. "let me have an egg" I asked her sister as I reached into the back. I was handed one. "Perfect. Just in time before she does something stupid" I thought to myself. And just so you all know, when it comes to my girlfriend, I always have to do something a little extreme to get her attention. Begging and "please" don't usually work. I pull my hand from the back seat, egg and all, and I hold it over my girlfriend's chest. I squeeze. The egg EXPLODED all over her. all over her hair, her necklace, her cleavage (low cut shirt), and her car. The rug, the glove compartment, her shifter, her A/C controls and her new Sony CD player. She screams in such bloody-like horror and does the worst thing. Takes the egg in her hands and smashes it on my chest. Now you all may not think this to be such a bad thing except I was wearing all black. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes. A waterfall of white down my shirt and pants. it looks SO bad if you know what I mean. I promptly slam on the breaks, put the car in park and get out, walking fast down the sidewalk. My girlfriend hops in the driver seat and speeds off. Now you might think this is the end of the story... but it's not. She goes about 1/4 of a mile down the street, and turns around. Coming back towards me. I am a man of standing my ground, but I'm also a man of 235 pounds. I don't want to spend 2 hours in the dark at midnight walking home. She stops, and I stubbornly talk her into letting me drive. Ok.
I drive back to her house (where we originally set off from) with her complaining the entire time of the egg dripping down her shirt (well, it was...) her sister and friend run inside when I stopped the car in the driveway. Me and my girlfriend then had a "discussion" over why I did it and how she wanted to break up with me, etc etc...(she says that one of my quality traits is when she tries to break up with me I just say "no" and it slowly convinces her otherwise...whatever) She kept telling me to walk home in the dark, I shouldn't help clean her car, and she hated me. I just kept saying to her "It's my mess, I'm cleaning it" After about 5 minutes of scrubbing, she looks at me and says, "I'm going inside and taking a shower to get this egg off. GO HOME" What do I do? Go inside and sit down...wait for her to get out of the shower.
When she finally did come out, she sat down next to me in a silk robe, looked me straight in the eyes and said "I'm sorry. You know I never want you to break up with me, I've just been stressed all day." I replied "it's ok, you should be mad. I ruined your Jeep....can we clean it tomorrow?" She hugged me. The next day we got to work on her car. Got everything we saw cleaned out, and everything is back to normal between me and her, except when you turn on the A/C it smells like egg.
The End.
True story. Happened 2 nights ago. I've been dating her for ~7 months now, and I love her with all my heart. She was the one who got me into cars.
Questions/Comments?
Any reply is appreciated.
I drive around Newton heading towards my house when suddenly I'm told to turn down this road. I think to myself "if they throw one egg..." I turn down the road and the windows go down. crap.
Eggs start to fly and I go nuts. After 3 eggs came out of the Jeep I slam on my brakes as hard as I could (i was the only one wearing a seat belt) and I do a U-Turn on the empty street. "I'm fed up with this SHIT!" I screamed, and floored it back down the road. "I'm not letting you people throw EGGS!"
Silence overcomes the car and about 30 seconds later my girlfriend says "Well I never got to throw MY egg..."
I flipped. I tried to grab the egg out of her hand and she held on to it tight. "let me have an egg" I asked her sister as I reached into the back. I was handed one. "Perfect. Just in time before she does something stupid" I thought to myself. And just so you all know, when it comes to my girlfriend, I always have to do something a little extreme to get her attention. Begging and "please" don't usually work. I pull my hand from the back seat, egg and all, and I hold it over my girlfriend's chest. I squeeze. The egg EXPLODED all over her. all over her hair, her necklace, her cleavage (low cut shirt), and her car. The rug, the glove compartment, her shifter, her A/C controls and her new Sony CD player. She screams in such bloody-like horror and does the worst thing. Takes the egg in her hands and smashes it on my chest. Now you all may not think this to be such a bad thing except I was wearing all black. Black shirt, black pants, black shoes. A waterfall of white down my shirt and pants. it looks SO bad if you know what I mean. I promptly slam on the breaks, put the car in park and get out, walking fast down the sidewalk. My girlfriend hops in the driver seat and speeds off. Now you might think this is the end of the story... but it's not. She goes about 1/4 of a mile down the street, and turns around. Coming back towards me. I am a man of standing my ground, but I'm also a man of 235 pounds. I don't want to spend 2 hours in the dark at midnight walking home. She stops, and I stubbornly talk her into letting me drive. Ok.
I drive back to her house (where we originally set off from) with her complaining the entire time of the egg dripping down her shirt (well, it was...) her sister and friend run inside when I stopped the car in the driveway. Me and my girlfriend then had a "discussion" over why I did it and how she wanted to break up with me, etc etc...(she says that one of my quality traits is when she tries to break up with me I just say "no" and it slowly convinces her otherwise...whatever) She kept telling me to walk home in the dark, I shouldn't help clean her car, and she hated me. I just kept saying to her "It's my mess, I'm cleaning it" After about 5 minutes of scrubbing, she looks at me and says, "I'm going inside and taking a shower to get this egg off. GO HOME" What do I do? Go inside and sit down...wait for her to get out of the shower.
When she finally did come out, she sat down next to me in a silk robe, looked me straight in the eyes and said "I'm sorry. You know I never want you to break up with me, I've just been stressed all day." I replied "it's ok, you should be mad. I ruined your Jeep....can we clean it tomorrow?" She hugged me. The next day we got to work on her car. Got everything we saw cleaned out, and everything is back to normal between me and her, except when you turn on the A/C it smells like egg.
The End.
True story. Happened 2 nights ago. I've been dating her for ~7 months now, and I love her with all my heart. She was the one who got me into cars.
Questions/Comments?
Any reply is appreciated.