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1,078 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the
following reasons:

1) I do physical labor.

2) I work at great depths.

3) I plunge head first into everything I do.

4) I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

5) I work in a damp environment.

6) I work in a dark workplace that has poor

7) I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, Penis

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the
arguments you have raised, the administration
rejects your request for the following reasons:

1) You do not work 8 hours straight.

2) You fall asleep after brief work periods.

3) You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.

4) You do not stay in your designated area and
are often seen visiting other locations.

5) You do not take need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

6) You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.

7) You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct protective

You will retire well before you are 65.

9) You are unable to work double shifts.

10) You sometimes leave your designated work area
before you have completed the assigned task.

11) And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and exiting the workplace
carrying two suspicious looking bags.

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